STOP ME IF YOU'VE HEARD THIS ONE...

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I’ve been told by friends that I’m the funniest guy on the planet. They never did say which one, and let’s face it - these same people spend their free time downing fried pork rinds while watching old re-runs of, “My Mother the Car”, so their ability to offer serious opinions on anything other than the Atomic Weight of Cheetos is questionable at best. I guess I do have a weird, offbeat, obscure sense of humor, but I have to admit, even that is eclipsed by the astounding, God-given ability I have to wiggle my ears(really!). I’ve lived and worked in various places in Canada, Europe and the South Pacific(and Bali Hai never did call me), so I have at least a decent grasp on life outside the USA, which is something that has helped me grow as a person and partly made me into who I am today - a short guy trolling the Internet for women. I'm a pretty good cook, and love good food, good wine and good beer. I make a killer martini. I consume all things in moderation. I like hanging with friends and occasionally larger groups to hear new ideas and get different takes on life. I love all branches of The Arts, especially film, and enjoy going to movies, film festivals, plays, concerts, dance performances and art galleries. I also like hanging out at book stores, record stores, museums, antique stores, flea markets and Wal-Mart openings. I love road trips, both long and short. My politics are somewhat left of center. I’m an absolutely incurable romantic and make no apologies for that fact. I believe in honesty, loyalty and fidelity. I've been told that I give heart-stopping kisses and provide cuddles that have become the stuff of legend. Please hold your applause. By the way, my height as listed is correct but I've always dated women who were taller than me - no surprise there - so I’m open. The only thing I'm not open about is baggage. I left mine on the platform before the train pulled out of the station and am only interested in corresponding with someone who has done the same. If anything I've said here strikes you as appealing or at least interesting, then you are indeed an exceptional woman with exquisite taste in men and should not hesitate to contact me poste haste. Let's face it; to let someone with my rugged good looks slip through your fingers would be a travesty and you'd probably never forgive yourself. If, when you've finished the preceding, you're laughing, then you're probably someone I'd really enjoy talking to. On the other hand, if you find yourself frowning/grimacing/considering calling the authorities, then I'd pass and start dating that widget salesman who won last year's National Yodelers of America coveted Wish I Was Swiss award who keeps asking you out. Disclaimer: No widget salesmen were actually harmed during the writing of this profile. Later.

Zodie

Capricorn

Tipul corpului meu este

Subțire

Înălțimea mea este

4' 10 (1.47 m)

Ochii mei sunt

Căprui

Sunt de etnie

caucaziană

Starea mea civilă este

Divorțat(ă)

Am copii

Da - Nu acasă

Doresc copii

Nu

Caracteristica mea cea mai bună este

Zâmbet

Body Art

Nici nu m-aș gândi despre așa ceva

Părul meu este

Chel

Am mai multe de asta

Fără animale de companie

Dispus să mă mut

Nu

Nivelul meu de educație este

Diplomă de Liceu

Starea mea forței de muncă actuală este

Propria afacere

Specializarea mea este

Vânzări / Marketing

Denumirea postului meu de muncă este

CEO/SALES MGR./JANITOR/COFFEE MAKER

Salariul meu anual este

15,000$ - 29,999$

Eu trăiesc

Singur(ă)

acasă

Prietenii vin ocazional

Fumez

Nu

Beau

Da - sociabil

În liceu am fost

Clown de clasă

Comportamentul meu social este

Prietenos, De comedie, Cochet, Deschis

Interesele și hobby-urile mele sunt

Citire, Muzică, Tv , Filme, Internet , Mese, Teatru, Gătire

Distracția bună pentru mine este

Cu prietenii, Filmele, Relaxare, Dormit, La un Casino, La un concert, La un muzeu

O prima întâlnire perfectă ar fi

PREFERABLY WITH A WOMAN.

Întotdeauna am vrut să încerc

WRITING SOMETHING BRILLIANT ON ONE OF THESE DATING WEBSITES. OH WELL, MAYBE SOMEDAY...

Prietenii mei mă descriu ca

Prietenos, Ridicol, Cochet

Religia mea este

Spiritual dar nu religios

Particip la servicii

Niciodată

Scopul meu în viață este

CONTINUING TO SCAN THE OBITUARIES FOR MY NAME EACH MORNING AND NOT FINDING IT THERE.

Genul meu de umor este

Prietenos, Ridicol, Tainic

La TV întotdeauna mă uit la

Știri, Desene animate, Documentar, Drame, Filme

Când mă duc la filme, mereu merg pentru a vedea

Științifico-fantastic, Comedie , Romantism, Dramă, Documentar, Animație, De groază

Când ascult muzică, mereu ascult

Rock , Metal , Clasică, Zgomot de aspirator, Blues , Jazz , Soul , Punk

Când citesc, eu citesc

Clasică, Ficțiune, De groază, Umor, Satiră

Distracția pentru mine este

HITTING MYSELF ON THE NOSE WITH A ROLLED UP NEWSPAPER WHENEVER I MAKE A MESS ON THE CARPET.

Ce vi se pare atractiv?

Inteligență, Umor, Empatie, Îndrăzneală, Flirt, Rațiune, Grija

Ce căutați?

HONESTY TOWARDS OTHERS AS WELL AS SOMEONE WHO CAN ALSO BE HONEST WITH THEMSELVES ABOUT THE KIND OF PEOPLE THEY WANT IN THEIR LIFE.

Ce fel de relație doriți?

Prieten, Partener de întâlniri, Intim, Dedicat(ă)